Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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