How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
