if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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