He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
