Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
