To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
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