Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
