Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
sex in a hospital.. check
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
