who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Randomize
