Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
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