You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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