Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Randomize
