Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
don't judge my taste in strippers
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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