Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
