coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
