would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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