Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
