I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
