were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Holy shit dude........stairs
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
