Having a random hookup so left but love u
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
