One girl and one boy is just not enough.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
