I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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