Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
