I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
