I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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