Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
