Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
