pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
