do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize
