Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
