and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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