i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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