Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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