everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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