Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
