my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
