oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I love having hate sex.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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