Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
