Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
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