Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
