i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
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