he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
