I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
