Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
