school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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