I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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