lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
