I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
