i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
