Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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