Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
